Remaining Calm During A Tantrum
When a caregiver experiences their child having a tantrum, it can be an extremely stressful & frustrating situation. The level of tantrums can vary from somewhat mild to extreme, with the child whining and crying to screaming, kicking, biting, hitting, and sometimes falling to the ground. In some instances children also exhibit dangerous behaviors towards both themselves and others. While a tantrum is a stressful situation for both the caregiver and child, it is important to remember that tantrums are a natural part of child development and it is how children express their frustrations when their emotions are at a heightened state. How a caregiver relates to their child and responds to tantrums will directly affect a child’s outcome after the tantrum is over.
Individuals with autism often experience sensory processing difficulties which can make it tougher to pinpoint a specific reason for “why” a tantrum is occurring. Sensory differences can also make it extremely difficult to predict when a tantrum could potentially happen. At Communication Lab, we help provide caregivers with the tools necessary to develop a plan to effectively manage a tantrum. The steps we take prior to, during, and after a meltdown, directly impacts frequency, duration, and severity of a child’s tantrum. The guidelines that our team implements during sessions not only helps to reduce tantrums, but also helps safely and effectively respond to a child’s behavior. This is an important component to our personalized Caregiver Coaching program.
How can we avoid tantrums in the first place?
Here are a few concepts that have helped caregivers we’ve worked with:
Ensure the child’s environment is a safe space whenever possible, and that they feel secure. This may be difficult to control the environment when outside of the home, but taking steps to comfort a child and assure them that their surroundings are a safe space can help prevent a tantrum.
Remove any off-limit objects to keep them out of reach and out of sight from the child. If these items are tucked away from your child’s surroundings it can limit the possibility of causing a tantrum.
Provide positive feedback and try to praise a child when they exhibit positive behaviors. Example, “I love how you are staying so calm and being patient right now! Let’s pick out a snack together.”
Know a child’s limits and recognize their physical & emotional cues. For example, if your child is tired and is about to have a meltdown, create a positive and comforting environment while preparing to get ready for naptime. If you know a child is fussy and showing signs of hunger, make it a fun experience and provide some options for the child to pick their own snack.
How can a caregiver best respond to a tantrum?
One of the most important things to remember when experiencing a tantrum, is to remain calm. Caregivers should always remind themselves that it is the caregiver’s responsibility to help the child calm down, so in order to do so, a caregiver must be calm as well.
Remaining calm in any situation helps establish a caregiver as the stable figure that a child can count on when they are encountering difficult emotions. This is especially necessary if a child is experiencing an overload related to sensory issues. When this is the case, the goal is to remove any overwhelming stimuli from the environment and guide the child to a more relaxed state.
Try to understand the “why” behind the tantrum, and respond accordingly. Sometimes tantrums should be handled differently depending on the reason why a child is upset. If a tantrum happens when a child is told to do something, it may be best to withhold attention during the tantrum and ensure that they continue with completing the requested task once the child is calm. Conversely, if a child is experiencing an overload due to stimulation in their environment it will be best to provide comfort and guide them to safety.
Recognize when comfort is needed, and when to withhold attention to your child’s behavior. Staying calm during the tantrum will also reduce the stimulation in the environment which can lead to increased duration and severity of a tantrum.
How can a child regain control after a tantrum?
Always remember that reassuring a child that they are loved and cared for is imperative, even when they are expressing difficult emotions. Once a child has calmed down, you can then hug or verbally reassure them that you love them and are there to help them. A few more tips include:
Ensure all basic needs are met including food, water, and the bathroom. This helps reduce the fight or flight responses that could trigger a meltdown.
Make sure that a child is getting enough sleep. An overtired child is more prone to reacting negatively and having a tantrum than a child who is well rested.
Make certain the physical environment is free of objects that can lead to overstimulation. This could include the television being on in the background, loud noises, too much access to electronics, and engaging with toys that are used in a repetitive manner.
Be predictable with actions and expectations. Caregivers should verbally explain what will be occurring and use priming techniques during transitions to provide context about what will be conducted throughout the day.
Remember that while tantrums can be stressful to manage, with some patience and helping a child gain more self awareness and self control, the child will gain better coping mechanisms to be able to express frustrations properly. Less frustrated children, means less temper tantrums and more effective caregivers.
At Communication Lab, we help develop a plan utilizing these important steps in order to experience a lasting reduction in tantrums. For more information on how we can help your family find strategies to reduce meltdowns, contact us at connect@communication-aba.com.